It's been a tough weekend. We spent it at his half finished cabin in the peace of the prairie. We read some of his favorite poetry there and hung fresh prayer flags in the woods. I also drove his truck home last night. It had been sitting in the very small single car garage of his partner's house. I don't think anyone could quite gather themselves to do anything about it yet. We needed to jump it, put air in the tires, put fuel stabilizer in it and keep it running long enough for the battery to re-charge. I ended up shutting it off at the gas station but needed to jump it again after filling the gas tank.
I left it running as I parked by the cafe waiting for the employees to leave where he was run over. My sister and I talked and cried about him as we waited. We walked in their little garden area next to it, it was darker there, less conspicuous...I didn't really want to be seen in my grief. I had lit a candle, like last year and left it again. I don't want to take the candle, I always blow it out before I leave. Is it terrible to leave it there for someone else to stumble across the remains of my commemoration?
It was so weird to drive his truck. I went to work late today after getting the oil changed, I'm going to care for this truck like it's him, as if I could reach out to his soul through my care of his truck. I drove it to work today because it's suppose to be hot and it has working AC unlike his old honda that I have which gets better gas mileage. Now I want only drive the truck as a way of keeping him with me but I also want it to last forever. Decisions to make, what to do...
Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test...
2 - the Helper
Thanks for taking the test !
you chose CX - your Enneagram type is TWO (aka "The Charmer").
You are not completely happy with the result?!
You chose CX AX (SEVEN)
BX (NINE)
CY (SIX)
CZ (ONE)
"I must help others"
Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.
How to Get Along with Me
- Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
- Share fun times with me.
- Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
- Let me know that I am important and special to you.
- Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.
- Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
- Reassure me often that you love me.
- Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.
In Intimate Relationships
- being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
- knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
- being generous, caring, and warm
- being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
- being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor
What's Hard About Being a TWO
- not being able to say no
- having low self-esteem
- feeling drained from overdoing for others
- not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
- criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
- being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
- working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings
TWOs as Children Often
- are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
- try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
- are outwardly compliant
- are popular or try to be popular with other children
- act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
- are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted TWOs), or quiet and shy (the more introverted TWOs)
TWOs as Parents
- are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
- are often playful with their children
- wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
- can become fiercely protective
Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele
The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
Harper
SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages
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You are not completely happy with the result?!
You chose CX
Would you rather have chosen:
 | VoicePost  428K 2:15 | “Hey so I just came back from up North. If anybody's from Minnesota, you know what that means. I really only went half way. Friends of ours have a gateed community campground which is really cool and has lots of great amenities like a pool and a little creek you can go down in your boat and 4 wheel track and everybody drives around has golf carts and so we were up there for a couple of nights. We took the little camper that we have. The boy slept in a little screened in porch that they have and we had a good time. I played golf for the first time, we played 9 holes of golf and that was kinda fun. I don't think I completely sucked. Obviously it wasn't the best but I think I got 64 and I think par for the ladies was like 33, it was fun and now I'm on my way to go play games with some friends of mine and P has decided to stay back and rest because she was up early and so she thought she'd stay back and rest. I am going to enjoy myself and meet up with other friends. The boy hopefully would be cleaning up the kitchen and consider mowing the lawn because P's mother is gonna come out maybe for a picnic tomorrow and then next week I gotta go back to work. I'm kind of enjoying this summer. Anyway so I've been busy. I haven't read anybody's stuff but I'm sure I'll catch up at some point. Hope you're all having a good weekend. Bye” Transcribed by: ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} zestfive |
Yikes, I can't believe it. My new job starts today. I think with Pride and everything happening, the time just got away from me. My cousin and sister worked on the cabin this last week, they got the drywall done. We also got the deadbolts working on the doors. I think steps have been made. My Dad's partner was out there too, she spoke of how it was difficult because she knows it's better than he could have ever of imagined. :::weep::: My sisters, my Dad's partner and I have to get together to figure out the next steps for finishing the cabin. My sister has started to take on that and I'm SO grateful. It's just very overwhelming for me with the cabin. I want to do it perfect but I have never built anything before. At least she's much more familiar with the building process having been an executive director for Habitat for Humanity for over 5 years.
I was talking to my friend R, she's back from Pittsburgh for 2 weeks, I hope I get to see her. She was talking about how she wanted to do a healing deal. She read about digging a hole and yelling into the earth but she felt strange about putting her pain into the earth. I immediately said that the earth is a mother and has always absorbed the pain and suffering of her children it's part of the way she cares for us. I really don't know where that came from, just came right out of my mouth. She said it brought tears to her eyes and to be honest, it brought them to me too. I don't know where that came from!
Yesterday I picked up the home movies that we had transfered to DVD. I watch 2 hours of them last night. They are out of chronilogical order but it was good to see. Poor P, I put her through watching all of that too.
Awww...got to go to work, see ya!
Tomorrow (really it's today since it's so late) I'll be kicking around P's house until it's time to go pick up the boy. I'm excited about his return and to hear his stories.
This weekend we were going to go camping again but a wedding and a recent invite for vistors at my house requires some deep cleaning! Not so fun to spend the weekend plus week cleaning. I sure hope I feel better.
I did pay this month's bills and shred ded two bags worth of old bills, credit card statements and etc. I went through more of my Dad's estate stuff and I only need one more value before I can submit the inventory. I can't wait until this crap is done. I've been looking for a big box of file folders that I had but unfortunately, I can't find them. I HATE when I can't find things.
I've got to get more done. I've got a list going but it's hard for me to stay on track because it's all overwhelming. I need to assemble the grill that I bought and FINALLY got replacement parts for but it's too buggy in the evening. I wasn't feeling good enough in the morning. I also want to install the closet organizer that I bought. It's too big so I will need to cut it down to size with a hack saw. It also requires me to pay close attention to detail and right now I'm not so good at that.
Did ya notice that I tend to post and respond in spurts, at least lately. I can tell you, if I'm at home and not with P, I am reading but I guess I'm just feeling a little hibernative. I usually do that when I'm dealing with emotional stuff. I've got to get better at sharing that with P.
Poll #1197815 Ring Tones
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All
Do you have a cell phone?
9 (75.0%)Do you have ring tones?
Did you pay for them?
What songs do you have?
I only have to take a shower and then we're leaving. I'll see you all in a week!
| VoicePost 78K 0:23 | “So I figured I'd better test the voice posting before I go on my trip. To make sure it works, make sure it's gonna remember my tune all of that stuff. So I can tell you what's going on. You know I won't be able to hear what's going on with you but here's my test. Bye.” Auto-Transcribed Voice Post |
I'm thinking Monday, I might bring donuts in for lots of folks. To say thanks for everything...
- Mood:
apathetic
( Read more... )
- Music:Kris Delmhorst - Horses Swimming
THE RULES ****************
Rule One - You will receive a body.
.Rule Two - You will be presented with lessons.
Rule Three - There are no mistakes, only lessons.
Rule Four - The lesson is repeated until learned.
Rule Five - Learning does not end.
Rule Six - 'There' is no better than 'here.'
Rule Seven - Others are only mirrors of you.
Rule Eight - What you make of your life is up to you.
Rule Nine - Your answers lie inside you.
Rule Ten - You will forget all this at birth